Living With Chronic Pain Archives - Page 2 of 4

Taking Stock

10 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / August 9, 2020

Hello there, Sharing is Caring Members!

Well, it’s been more than a hot minute since my last blog post. There are reasons for my absence, not sure we’ll cover them all today, but I wanted to get on here and say – YES, I’m still committed to sharing my wellness journey, and YES, I’m still in pain.

June and July were particularly difficult months for me, and I grappled with a number of setbacks I didn’t have the physical energy or mental capacity to deal with, much less write about.

When I started blogging in January, I had a basic idea about how this journey would go. It looked like a pretty straightforward march towards health and happiness with a lot of travel thrown in as incentive to be the healthiest me I could be.

Yes, I knew there would be challenges. Yes, I knew there would be stumbling blocks. Yes, I knew there would be the odd S-curve thrown in. In truth, these were meant to be fodder for the ramblings of my diabolical mind.

I did not anticipate a worldwide pandemic, or the impact COVID-19 would have on my mental and physical well-being.

Not gonna lie. I’ve been in the midst of a depression that has impacted my ability and desire to, for lack of better words, get shit done.

Yes. I said it.

Depression.

Given the stigma associated with the word, and many people’s poorly informed opinions about depression, it’s not something I admit easily or without a certain amount of trepidation.

Here’s the thing though, to move forward in my journey and continue with the blog, I felt I needed to be honest (with myself and incidentally with you) in sharing where I’m at.

To be clear, I have not been officially diagnosed with or treated for depression. It’s simply the word I use to describe my mental state and the impact my prolonged “low” mood is having on my life.

So what does depression mean to me?

The most common or basic definition of (Major) depression is feelings of anger, loss, or sadness lasting two weeks or more and interfering with a person’s everyday activities. See links above.

Symptoms (lasting two weeks or more) can include:

Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
Loss of appetite or overeating
Rapid weight loss or weight gain
Feelings of gloom, sadness, or grief
Low energy and fatigue
Loss of interest in regular or pleasurable activities
Reduced ability to concentrate or memory problems
Difficulty in making decisions
Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
Constant worry or anxiety
Thoughts of death, self-harm, or suicide
Social withdrawal
Unexplained aches or pains

My symptoms (lasting two months or more) include:

Difficulty sleeping or staying asleep leading to low energy and fatigue
Overeating or emotional eating leading to weight gain
COVID related feelings of gloom and doom leading to anxiety about the future
Constant COVID related worry and thoughts of sickness and death (mine and others)
Loss of interest in pleasurable activities (writing)
Memory problems and reduced cognitive abilities
Increased aches and pains
A desire to socially withdraw (I am still out and about but it takes extra effort)

Yes. Safe to say, I have been (and continue to be) in a depressed state.

Truth.

It’s not the first time, it won’t be the last time, and it’s not something to be ashamed of.

I’m human. I have feelings. Things affect me – sometimes for prolonged periods. I can’t control it. Like the chronic pain I suffer from, there’s no snapping out of it. There’s no magic pill. Telling me I have much to be grateful for doesn’t help.

Along with the fibromyalgia and arthritis, depression is likely something I inherited from my parents, and they from their parents. There are other causes of depression as well, chronic pain being one of them, but we’ll get into that in another blog.

Bottom line. I’m depressed. Is this bout of depression COVID related? The answer is…probably.

Am I coming around?

Yes.

How do I know?

I’m writing again, and it feels good, so hopefully, more to come soon!

In the meantime, I hope you are all taking care of your mental and physical health while staying safe in this topsy turvy world.

Reminder, if anyone needs to chat or share, this forum is here for you. You can also drop me a line through the contact page! And don’t forget, there are many excellent resources out there if you need more support during this (or any) difficult time.

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Current pain level 5/10.

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Painsomnia – Let’s Talk About Sleep, Baby

6 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / June 26, 2020

It’s 4:16 am. I’m awake. Have been for hours. Yes, Roy is snoring. No, it’s not the reason sleep eludes me.

The blankets have been on, off, half on…maybe if I stick a foot out? Nope. Right arm? Nope. My body temperature won’t regulate.

It’s not the reason I’m awake.

My thoughts whirl. Anxiety spikes. COVID-19. Black lives matter. Haven’t posted a blog in weeks. Are my sons happy? Should we get a dog? To build or not to build? Is the retirement travel I envisioned still a possibility? Am I a bad daughter? How am I going to lose weight working ten-hour days? Should I TikTok?

Now What?

I try deep breathing. Nope. Meditation. Nope. Sheer force of will. Nope. My brain will not stop.

It’s not the reason I’m still awake.

I adjust my half of the bed. Head up. Nope. Feet down. Nope. How about the reverse? Nope. Maybe if I try every possible up/down combination? Nope. I toss. Nope. I turn. Nope. Cross my ankles. Nope. Uncross my ankles. Nope. I can’t get comfortable.

I can’t get comfortable…that’s the nice way of saying I can’t sleep because of the amount of fucking pain I’m in.

PAINSOMNIA.

It’s real, and it’s a pain in the ass (literally).

Welcome to Hell...Please Enjoy the Ride

A pain spike is one thing. Add in exhaustion due to sleep deprivation, and we’re talking a whole other depth of Satan’s paradise. We’re talking the subbasement of hell. Worse. We’re talking the furnace room of the subbasement of hell. All dark and dinghy. Cobwebs in the corner. Layers of crud and dust covering the floor. Hot, stale air. A dead rat in the shadows.

It’s the kind of place you don’t want to be stuck in for too long.

Problem is – painsomnia and I have a history, and I know I’m gonna be here for a while. Yep, might as well stock the mini-fridge, cause this pain train is going nowhere fast.

On a scale of 1 to 10, my pain level is about a 22.59 right now. Not kidding. This is ridiculous. The bones of my feet feel broken. My left ankle refuses to bend. My right knee pops when I walk. Both legs have shin splints and permanent calf cramps. My left hip gives out on the regular. My right hand aches. I can’t lift my left arm because my shoulder is inflamed (bursitis). My back is spasming. My neck mobility is limited. And yeah, to top it off, the ringing in my ears is louder than usual – to the point that I’m having a hard time hearing.

The depths of hell is an apt description.

Although I’ve suffered from many sleepless nights over the years, I didn’t make the connection to my chronic pain until I came across the term Painsomnia. Coined by members of the chronic pain community, the word perfectly describes the cycle of pain, leading to lack of sleep, leading to more pain. It’s a vicious downward spiral, and it’s hard to reverse.

I'm Not Alone...

Did you know, 8 in 10 chronic pain sufferers describe frequent episodes of poor or lost sleep? 8 in 10! That’s a lot of people roaming the halls at night, or, and this is much more likely, connecting with fellow Painsomniacs (that’s not a word – I just made it up – I even Googled it) on one of the #painsomnia social media hashtags.

Furthermore, did you know that many chronic pain sufferers (myself included) feel their pain level increases at night! This phenomenon is due to a couple of factors:

our bodies naturally produce lower levels of the anti-inflammatory hormone cortisol during periods of rest
we tend to have fewer distractions at night; therefore, attention to pain levels (not the pain itself) may increase
staying in one position for an extended period can cause joints to stiffen (hello fellow Ankylosing Spondylitis sufferers), even small movements during sleep can cause pain
when we’re tired our brains lack the ability to dampen pain signals, so our pain is perceived as worse during the wee hours.

You Did What Now?

Whether we simply perceive our pain as worse at night, or our pain level actually increases, there are many recommended practices to follow to enhance sleep.

None of these will come as a surprise:

Exercise daily
Avoid consuming caffeine in later afternoon or evening
Avoid overeating before sleeping
Avoid drinking alcohol before bedtime
Establish a relaxing bedtime routine
Try taking a warm bath before bedtime to ease sore joints
Turn off electronic devices before bedtime
Keep your room a comfortable temperature
Limit exposure to bright light
Try meditation or deep breathing
Make sure your mattress and pillow are right for you
Consider natural or herbal remedies

So great, you’re doing all of the above, and you’re still awake. Painsomnia has sunk its teeth in deep, and you’re fucked. Yep, been there. See ya next month when your flare-up subsides, and you can sleep for more than two hours at a time.

Or…

Now that you know painsomnia is a real thing, you can do what I did. For the first time in twenty-five years of living with chronic pain, I called my doctor. Described my symptoms. Discussed what needed addressing to get me back to sleep mode. In my case, it was the leg cramping and shoulder pain keeping me awake at night. She prescribed a muscle relaxant.

I took one pill. One. The leg cramps disappeared, and the shoulder pain became tolerable. I slept Wednesday night. I slept Thursday night. And now, I’m back to my regular ole pain levels. Thank baby Jesus!

My point is – if a pain flare is keeping you awake and you haven’t spoken to a medical professional about it – do it. DO IT NOW! It could very well mean the difference between a good night’s sleep and prolonged painsomnia suffering.

Wishing you happy dreams!

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Current pain level 8/10.

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Writing for The Mighty!

2 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / June 9, 2020

Hey there, Sharing is Caring Members!

It’s been a while. Not gonna lie. I’m struggling a bit these days with completing anything outside of work. My pain levels are high, and my personal balance is out of whack.

I have good intentions, just no follow through at the moment, and that’s okay. I’m working 60-70+ hours a week, something has got to give.

A lot of somethings.

Sadly, writing for the blog has been one of those things.

However, I was invited by The Mighty to write an introduction for their Fibromyalgia news letter which was super exciting for me. It was also a challenge to keep my ramblings down to 150 words!

Sharing my introduction with you below and encouraging you to check out the featured story by Samantha Moss – it includes an excellent pain visual and description chart.

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Pain is Personal. How Do You Perceive Your Fibromyalgia Pain?

Pain. All-day, every day? Worse in the morning or the afternoon? Sharp? Shooting? Stabbing? Aching?

Pain is personal — how we perceive it and our tolerance to it is as individual as it gets.

For many, the struggle to describe their chronic pain is as real as the pain itself. To make things harder, add on a cloak of invisibility. There’s no wound to see. No cast to draw on. No Snoopy bandage to ease the hurt.

Whether you rely on words, visuals or a pain scale, talking about how your pain feels and how it affects you is critical to getting the help you need. In my case, recording my symptoms and better describing my pain led to the discovery of a second autoimmune disease.

How about you? How would you rate your fibro pain before, during and after a flare, and what method do you use to describe it? Check out this week’s featured story — it may inspire you to come up with a new creative way to rate your pain.

You can read more of Edith’s work on The Mighty by clicking here. Visit her website by clicking here. You can also follow her on Instagram here and “like” her Facebook page here.

💡 Today’s Takeaway

Finding a way to describe your pain may be hard, but it’s worth it!

Stay Mighty,

Edith

Stories You May Need Today

The Creative Pain Scale You Need to See If You’re Tired of Rating Your Pain From 1 to 10

Samantha Moss

Read now →

Current pain level 8/10.

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When Shaving Your Legs IS the End of the World

4 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / May 23, 2020

Hey, Everybody!

Holy crap! Here we are. It’s the end of the third week in May, and this is only blog number two for the month! Super sorry, Sharing is Caring Tribe. With the amount of overtime I’m working, the days have flown by while time has simultaneously stood still.

Seriously, my life is a groundhog movie. Eat. Sleep. Work. Repeat.

But today? Today is Saturday, summer has finally arrived, and I’m going to work from the cottage this weekend!

Woot! Woot!

As I type this, the early morning sun is slanting through the windows, laying a path of warmth across my bare shins, and I’m reminded, I haven’t shaved my legs in a while.

No time, no energy, no desire, and up to this point, no need. My legs haven’t been on display since I left Florida in mid-march. So yeah, shaving hasn’t been a priority.

Until now.

Lake weather has arrived, and the clothes are coming off.

It also means I gotta dust off a razor and give myself a weed wack. Not something I’m looking forward to.

Why Body Hair is my Nemisis

When you suffer from chronic pain, some days, getting out of bed is an accomplishment—hitting the shower? A heroic exertion of epic proportion. Shaving your legs? Yeah, not gonna happen. Especially in the dead of winter when no one gets a peep at your gams anyway. And if your partner doesn’t find your hairy appendages sexy? Well then, that’s what fleece pajamas are for.

Am I right?

Happily, seasons change. Minus forty temperatures give way. The earth warms. Flowers bloom. Summer living begins, and out from those layers of denim, cotton, and spandex come the neglected body parts no one has seen in a while.

Not gonna lie, body hair (and its permanent removal) has been, and continues to be, a war I will wage without regret. Does that make me high maintenance? Maybe. But here’s the deal. Sometimes, when you suffer from one or more autoimmune diseases, something as simple as personal grooming can require too much of your limited energy. Not to mention the physical limitations of a body that cannot, and will not, bend in ways that allows a normal person to get at those hard to reach places.

Doesn’t mean I don’t care about how I look. Doesn’t mean I’m willing to go au natural by embracing my hairy self. Quite the opposite. Despite my shitty eyesight, the older I get, the more body hair I discover! It’s creepy, I don’t like it, and it has got to go. PERMANENTLY.

Hair Here, Hair There, Hair Everywhere

Black hair growing on your chin in clusters? Moustache hair sticking straight out? Eyebrow hair meeting in the middle? Nipple hair? On women? What fucking depth of hell is this torture? Hate em. Had em. Electrolysised the shit out of em.

Bye-bye, bitches.

Next.

Armpit hair impossible to shave because you can’t lift your arms above your head? Unauthorized expansion of hairy hoo-ha territory because you can’t contort into a pretzel? Toe hair long enough to braid because you can’t bend over to reach your feet?

Toe hair? Who the actual fuck grows hair on their toes? I swear, I have hair growing everywhere…except on my head…where it’s supposed to be!

No matter.

Laser hair removal to the rescue.

Zippity-zip. Zappity-zap. Take that you, hairy hair follicle.

High Maintenance Vs. Practicality

Yep, I invested in and endured laser hair removal. For me, it has been money well spent. The energy I would have expended week over week and month over month, keeping my body hair situation under control, was spent on things I wanted to do instead.

A huge win considering my battle with chronic pain and my limited energy resources.

So, why then are my legs still hairy? Great question. Glad you asked.

There are a couple of reasons:

I don’t have a lot of hair on my legs, so if I let the hair grow, it’s not so bad.
Leg hair doesn’t creep me out as much as nipple hair.
I can see and reach my legs, so shaving is fairly easy.

But honestly, electrolysis and laser hair removal is expensive. Each session can run between one hundred and two hundred dollars depending on how long it takes, and multiple sessions are required to achieve permanent hair removal status.

Basically, in terms of body hair removal priorities, I was saving my legs for last. And in fact, I was scheduled to begin my laser hair removal sessions on my legs last month.

COVID-19 put a halt on that.

Not a big deal. I’ll survive another summer of shaving my legs. I just don’t think I’m starting this weekend, because I spent my energy on writing this blog.

And now I have a question for you.

Does spending money on something that makes your life easier make you worthy of being called high maintenance?

Yes, I can spend my time stressing, waxing, plucking, tweezing, and shaving (although I find good razors are ridiculously expensive). Or I can let myself go natural. But does that make me less high maintenance?

I think not.

Either way. I’m gonna take my hairy legs to the lake now so I can get to work and enjoy the sun.

Hope you all have a beautiful socially-distanced Saturday!

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Current pain level 6.5/10.

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Nail Health – More than a Mani/Pedi

Leave a Comment / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / May 9, 2020

Like many women, I enjoy having pretty fingers and toes, especially when traveling or on special occasions. So, for about a year, I made an effort to get my nails “done” at a salon.

And yep, there’s that stigma, rearing its ugly head again. Look at her French manicure and cotton candy pink pedi – she must be high maintenance.

Not, gonna lie. In my younger days, I was one of those judgy bitches.

Who had time to spend two hours in a nail salon, anyway? I spent my days at work, in hockey rinks, at the grocery store, and trying to figure out how to live with a significant amount of chronic pain.

Right…

Jealous much?

Anyhoo…beyond the time commitment, the truth is, I couldn’t afford to go to a nail salon with any regularity until I was older and had the extra cash to spend on what I considered a “luxury.” Note the use of the word regularity. Yeah, here’s the thing about getting a mani/pedi, like hair highlights and color, nail polish needs to be maintained, or it looks like shit.

Given my terrible “maintenance” record, I always opted for the longest-lasting manicures. While shellac and powder dipped nails are more durable than regular polish, they do damage your nails over time. Especially, if you’re a maintenance procrastinator and compulsive picker like I am.

Now, on to the high maintenance nitty-gritty, bull-shitty. Beyond vanity, there are specific reasons to pay attention to your nails.

For instance, did you know nail health is closely associated with your body’s overall health?

Yep, anemia, congestive heart failure, liver disease, malnutrition, diabetes, autoimmune diseases such as arthritis, fungal infections, thyroid disease, psoriasis, emphysema, lupus, melanoma (cancer), vitamin or mineral deficiencies, etc., can cause changes to the condition of your nails.

Warning signs to watch for include:

Cracked nails
Discolored nails (red, yellow, brown, white, blue)
Clubbing nails
Ridged nails
Pitted nails
Curling nails
Detaching nails
Bleeding nails

All of the above can be indicators of an undiagnosed medical problem, and changes to your nail health should be flagged to your doctor as soon as possible. Trust me on this one! In doing my research for this blog, I came across any number of photographic examples of nails impacted by a variety of diseases, all of them extremely painful looking.

If you have nail health concerns, I found the following links to be informative, if not somewhat disturbing.

In my case, my autoimmune diseases make my fingernails soft and weak. They bend and break easily, plus, the ongoing use of shellac, powder dip, acetone, etc., didn’t help the situation. So once again, I found myself in a bit of a quagmire, damaged nails due to disease and abuse, but wanting to have pretty fingers and toes. Vanity? Yes, maybe a little. Concerned about nail health? Yes, a little bit of that, too.

So? What’s an immuno-compromised girl to do?

Well, for starters, I stopped going to the salon. I also started taking biotin for hair and nail health, and I’m pleased to report my nails are slowly recovering.

But seriously though, plain old nails are, well, plain. Besides, who doesn’t need a little color and sparkle in their life?

Not only does a pretty mani/pedi make your hands and feet look cleaner, younger, and healthier, it can be an instant mood lift.

It’s why I’m super happy I discovered the Kiss brand of Impress Nails. Love these press-on beauties! They’re an instant manicure/pedicure, at a great price, with zero nail damage. Not to mention these “fake” nails look amazing, and if carefully applied, last for a week or more, making me happy, happy, happy.

(No, this blog is NOT sponsored by Impress Nails. I just love them. Sold at Walmart in Canada in case you’re curious.)

And listen, I’m not shooting down the traditional mani/pedi. I think there’s a real need for professional assistance when it comes to maintaining the health of your hands and feet, especially if you’ve been diagnosed with a chronic disease such as diabetes. But where you get your service done and what type of manicure/pedicure you opt for matters!

Salon Lover?

The two most important things to look for when choosing a salon or service provider:

Cleanliness – may be a no-brainer, but how often do you ask about how tools are sterilized (should be autoclaved), chairs wiped down, and basins disinfected? Unless you bring your own, tool packages should be opened in front of you, and service providers should wear fresh gloves or sanitize their hands before beginning.

If you feel icky about the sanitary conditions of a salon, do yourself a favor, WALK AWAY. Seriously, nail infections are no joke and can lead to major health problems.

Qualified technicians or service providers – Not all technicians are created equal. The best thing you can do for yourself is to communicate your expectations and concerns. DON’T BE ME. I ended up with a broken big toe because I didn’t speak up during a too aggressive foot massage at a sketchy nail salon that came highly recommended.

Instead, find someone you’re comfortable working with. A good technician will be concerned about the overall health or condition of your nails. Toenails discolored from polish? Your service provider should recommend you give your nails a break and offer tips for improving nail condition. If they’re not, it may be time to find a new salon.

Bottom Line:

Maintaining healthy nails is important. They are, after all, a functioning part of your body. How else are you going to open a can of beer one-handed?

Think about it. Your hands and feet are hard working. They deserve pampering. So go ahead, spend a bit of coin for a salon service, or invest in some products and tools to use at home.

No matter your preference, having pretty nails does not make you high maintenance, and to those who think otherwise…a manicured one finger salute will do.

How about you? Any experience with being called out as a high maintenance kinda girl? Would love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Current pain level 6/10.

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Massage is NOT a Luxury, and I’m NOT High Maintenance

6 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / April 30, 2020

Hey Everybody,

Hope you’re all coping with the ongoing COVID-19 social distancing. As a person with multiple autoimmune diseases, I am grateful for the efforts Canadians have made to reduce the risks as much as possible for as many as possible. For those of you who have lost a friend, colleague, or loved one to the virus or the horrible act of violence in Nova Scotia, my heart goes out to you.

These are tough and challenging times.

As the fight against COVID-19 wages on, many of us find ourselves fighting battles of another nature. Whether they be mental or physical concerns, prolonged inaccessibility to healthcare services can have a significant impact on our overall wellness.

In my case, I’m in the midst of a full-body pain flare.

With knees and ankles that don’t bend, stairs are difficult to navigate
My hips are locking mid-stride, which is super odd-looking in the halls at work
Shoulder pain is keeping me awake at night, amplifying the fatigue already showing on my face
And my butt and back muscles ache constantly

What the Fuck is Happening

There are many reasons for the pain spike:

Working long hours on the computer in a seated position – work is COVID related, and can’t be helped
Poor diet – recently rectified but still contributing
Limited opportunity for physical activity – due to facility closures, but mostly due to long hours at work
Stress – at home, at work, self-induced…it’s everywhere
Inaccessible healthcare services – by healthcare services, I mean my doctor, my rheumatologist, my registered massage therapist.

YES, I said it. MASSAGE THERAPIST.

I have one, and she has saved my life, my sanity, and my mobility more than once! In fact, I call her my pain therapist. She’s a necessary partner in my mental and physical wellness journey, so I tend to get my nose out of joint when people give me the gears for getting a regular massage.

Really, I think I’ve heard it all… Oooo, must be nice to be so pampered. Wow, you’re so lucky. Oh, another spa day, good for you.

Not Fucking Cool

Nope. Nope. NOPE! Cut the stigma, people.

I am in pain. All-day. Every day. Full stop.

Massage helps to reduce my pain. Note, I said reduce. Not eliminate. My pain, whether brought on by Fibromyalgia or Ankylosing Spondylitis or both, will NEVER go away. My goal has been, and will always be, pain management.

In case you’re new here, I’ve been on my wellness journey for a long time. Twenty-five years – give or take a year – and during those pain-filled days, months, years, decades, I’ve used the services of chiropractors, physiotherapists, homeopaths, and nutritionists. The one I keep coming back to, like a compass needle to North, is my massage therapist.

Why is that? Well, it’s simple. Massage helps me to manage my chronic pain by:

Reducing muscle tension
Preventing joint immobility
Reducing stress
Improving blood circulation
Correcting posture damage from sitting
Stimulating the lymphatic system
Lowering blood pressure
Producing feelings of comfort, caring and connection

It's Science, Baby

But listen, don’t just take my word for it. There are plenty of studies that show massage is an effective treatment for any number of conditions. Thankfully, these days, massage is often recommended along with other “standard” medical treatments and drug therapies.

Chronic headaches? Get a massage. Digestive disorders? Get a massage. Tendonitis? Get a massage. Feeling blue? Get a massage. Bad hair day? Get a massage. Hell, you don’t need a reason, or an excuse, if you feel like you need a massage, or want a massage, don’t hesitate! Make an appointment. Go ahead. Do it.

But seriously, check with your doctor first, because sadly massage isn’t for everyone. Like any therapy, there are risks. Specifically, consult a medical professional if you have:

Deep vein thrombosis
Severe osteoporosis
Bleeding disorders
Injuries such as burns, wounds, or broken bones

Also, a word of caution, finding the right massage therapist for you is essential because some therapists can do more damage than good. I had my back go out for two weeks after a bad massage. Worst pain ever! Trust me. You want to avoid this.

My recommendations:

Ask a doctor or a friend for a referral
When you meet your service provider – don’t be afraid – ask questions. Discuss your concerns. Pinpoint your problem areas and articulate your needs/goals
Agree on a treatment plan and a price point in advance. Yes, if you don’t have insurance coverage, massage therapy services can be expensive, but remember, this is your health we’re talking about, and your health is worth the investment
Get as naked as you are comfortable with and no more. Want to leave your socks on? Leave em on. Want to strip off your undies. Strip em off. Point is – you need to be comfortable on and off the table
Be vocal. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up. Massage can leave you feeling sore for a day or two, but it shouldn’t increase your pain or put your back out of whack
Relax (or try to) and enjoy those parts of the massage that do feel a little pamperish. Yes, massage can be a powerful aid along your wellness journey, but it can also just be a feel-good moment when you need it

Bottom Line

Regular massage therapy is not a luxury or a splurge. It is an essential part of many people’s health and well-being, and an indispensable part of mine!

How about you? Any of your pain-relieving therapies getting a bad rap? Got any recommendations for me to try? Just want to drop a line to say hello and connect?

Go ahead and leave a comment!

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Current pain level 8/10.

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To Spring or Not to Spring?

4 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / April 26, 2020

Hello, My Lovelies!

Just a quick note to let you know I am working on the next blog. I know it’s been a hot minute since my last post, but truthfully, I’m more than a little tired and in the middle of a fairly major flare-up.

I blame the weather! Sunny and plus fifteen on one day. Minus fifteen and snowing the next. Can someone please inform Mother Nature her cycle is out of whack!

Sharing a picture I took yesterday afternoon. I’m calling it Resilience, cause I think we can all use a little extra dose of it these days.

Take care, everybody. Keep up the social distancing vigilance.

More to come!

If you feel up to it, drop a comment, and let us know how you’re doing.

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Edith

Current pain level 8/10.

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COVID Hair – Don’t Care!

4 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / April 14, 2020

Some people have suggested – to my face – that I’m a high maintenance kind of girl. First, I don’t give a shit what other people think. Second, It’s my money, and I worked damn hard to get it. So, if I am high maintenance…GOOD FOR ME.

However, I do think examining the accusation will make for an excellent series of blogs.

So, let’s dig in, shall we?

If the title didn’t give it away, this first post is all about the hairs on my head.

Ahem. Body hair is a whole other situation, so stay tuned!

Pre Summer of 2017

Like most women, I get my hair done. By done, I mean, highlighted, colored, cut. I used to go to the salon every six to eight months. This is NOT often enough to maintain an attractive or healthy head of hair, but at a cost of approximately 150 to 250 dollars per visit, maintaining my do was expensive.

So, yeah, even though I used good quality products to wash and style (every day), I didn’t follow the eight-week schedule recommended by my stylist. My bad! You would think delaying going to the salon would mean healthier hair, right? NOPE. Split ends. Brassiness. Dullness. Not to mention major roots!

But whatever, I was cheap (my husband even cheaper, leading to more than one hair-care-spending domestic). As a result, I wore my hair in a wet ponytail for most of my adult life. If my hair wasn’t in a ponytail, I was taking a straightening iron to my natural curls because we have hard water, and I didn’t know how to make my curly hair look good.

So, to summarize, at this point, I am:

Going to the salon every six to eight months for a full color, highlight, and trim
Washing my hair daily (with good (not great) products)
Slicking back wet hair and tightly securing with an elastic, or
Using hot tools on color-treated hair

Yep. No surprise, my hair was damaged, but it looked decent enough, and I had enough of it to cover my head.

Post Summer of 2017

The summer of 2017 was a rough time in my life. My stress sharply increased, my diet changed significantly, and my autoimmune diseases went on the attack. Over the next year, my hair fell out in clumps. CLUMPS. No…it didn’t break off because it was damaged. It fell out. At. The. Root.

I had bald spots on the back of my head and around my temples. BALD SPOTS! Even Roy noticed my hair was thinning, and that’s saying something.

By 2018 I was convinced I would lose what little hair I had left. Seriously, when gathered in an elastic, my ponytail was the diameter of a school pencil. By this point, the stress of stressing out about losing my hair was causing me to lose even more hair!

I went to my stylist; he’s been my go-to guy on and off for about fifteen years. I expressed my concerns, we didn’t find a solution, and I left the salon with the same cut and color as always.

Months passed. My head continued to shed. Seriously, I stuck handfuls of hair to the tiles to avoid plugging the drain when I showered. GROSS!

By summer 2018, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I – gasp– when to another stylist. She cut five inches off my hair. Had to be done, and while the shorter style was cute, I was still dealing with bald patches and ongoing hair loss.

In January of 2019, I figured this was my life now, and I began to look for ways to hide my thinning hair. Traditional hair extensions looked damaging to me, but Halo Couture hair extensions, while expensive, seemed like a reasonable option. I went to the only affiliated salon in Ottawa I could find, and the first words out of my mouth when I sat in the chair were, “My hair is thinning. Will Halo extensions help?”

Long story short the appointment didn’t go as planned. The stylist suggested she cut and color my hair first, and then we would talk extensions after. Hoping for a miracle, I stupidly agreed. Let’s just say, after 3 hours in an uncomfortable chair, the stylist never – not once – discussed Halo extensions with me, and I left the salon disappointed, angry, and with red hair.

RED HAIR.

It was not a good look for me. Don’t get me wrong. I love red hair. I envy women with beautiful red hair. Red hair on me…is not pretty!

Worse, my bald spots were even more noticeable, my hair was in the worst shape ever, and now my self-esteem was taking a hit.

The Turning Point

Hair, and lack thereof, had now become a primary mental preoccupation, and not in a good way. So, what did I do? I hit the Internet hard, did some research, and ultimately broke down and dropped some serious cash on Rogaine.

Say what?

Yep. Despite the expense, I started using Rogaine on my scalp to promote hair regrowth.

Did it work?

Yes. Yes, it did. After four months, I started to see some baby hairs sprouting. Here’s the deal, though. Rogaine or minoxidil is not a one and done product. You need to keep using it to continue seeing results. Basically, it’s a use it or lose it situation (the new hair that is).

Now here’s the kicker…women’s Rogaine is more expensive than the men’s Rogaine (same product descriptions), which is super annoying but waaay typical for the beauty industry.

Okay, rant over. Moving on…

First goal achieved, I now have hair growing where previously I was bald. Yippee!

Now I have to deal with the color. Trust me; red does not fade well, so, if you don’t plan on keeping (and maintaining) the red – DON’T do it!

Also, there’s no going back to blond without help.

A lot of help!

Before rushing in headfirst (hardy-har-har), I did further research. Watched more YouTube videos. What I learned was, there’s no safe way to go from red to blond in one salon visit, and any “expert” who tells you otherwise is wrong!

As you can imagine, by now, I’m a little salon weary, and salon wary. Still, there was no question – I needed professional help. Happily, I found it by accident. Late one night after a dinner date with Roy, we were full, happy, walking on the sidewalk hand-in-hand in the crisp fall air, and that’s when I noticed the beautiful new storefront downtown.

Turns out, it was a fancy new salon.

That night I Googled it. The owner/stylist trained in Italy, made a career out of working on models, and did not come cheap. The next day I called for an appointment. I was invited for a free consultation that very evening instead.

Given the hair-anxiety I was experiencing, I’m sure you can imagine my trepidation when I walked into Nick’s salon for the first time. Well, let me tell you, he said all the right things.

More importantly, he did all the right things.

It Ain't Over, 'Till it's Over

My first appointment was all about hair health. The red had to go (Nick’s words), but it would take several appointments to get me back to blond. So brown it was. First, he did a bonding treatment, then the all-over color, then a keratin treatment, and finally a cut. He gave me additional keratin treatments for home, with strict instructions to follow, including no more ponytails.

Yep. Traditional elastics were forever banned.

Not gonna lie, my Visa card damn near caught on fire when I paid the bill, but already I could tell it was worth it, and my anxiety lessened.

My second appointment was four weeks later. This appointment was all about color. I got a full head of blond highlights, another keratin treatment, a trim, and new shampoo and conditioner. Again, my Visa spontaneously combusted, but my hair was looking fuller and healthier.

Eight weeks later, I went for my third appointment. My hair was alive and doing well, and this visit was all about maintenance. A bit of root color, a few more blond highlights, toning, another keratin treatment, and yeah, my Visa already knows the drill. Burn, baby, burn.

During this period, I also changed my at-home routine:

Now, I wear my hair naturally curly, and I wash once or twice a week – tops.
I also invested in quality shampoos and conditioners for damaged or color- treated hair (Olaplex 1, 2 & 3, Biolage Raw, Verb).
I deep condition regularly (AG Keratin, Briogeo Don’t Despair Repair).
I use quality styling products (Olaplex #6, Aveda Be Curly, AG Mousse Gel, Verb Ghost oil).
I invested in a Dyson hairdryer/diffuser combo.
I bought a satin pillowcase.
I (sometimes) wear a bonnet to sleep in.
I (try to remember to) keep up with the Rogaine.

Yeah, I spent a lot of money on hair products and professionals in 2019—a LOT of money. But guess what, I don’t regret a single dime. My hair has grown back. It’s healthier, shinier, curlier, longer, and fuller. Bye, bye bald spots.

The Bonus

I’m not stressed out about losing my hair anymore.

Will I continue with the expensive salon visits, the Rogaine, the products.

100% yes!

In fact, like many women impacted by the closing of non-essential services, I’m overdue for a salon visit. My roots are showing, and my gray hairs are taking over! Yep, I have COVID hair, but I don’t care!

Why?

It’s simple, really.

Because I have hair.

How about you? Have you experienced hair trauma or hair loss attributed to an autoimmune disease? Any tips for haircare during the COVID-19 quarantine?

My advice is…this too shall pass…don’t give yourself bangs out of boredom, ladies!

Special note: plastic coil or spiral ponytail holders are Nick approved – you can get ’em at the Dollar Store.

Also check out Manes by Mell, if you have curly hair. She saved my curls life, and she’s fucking hilarious.

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers!

Current pain level 7/10.

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Dropping the F-Bomb Like It’s Hot

4 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / April 4, 2020

I’m sure you’ve all heard about the studies done. You know, the scientific research that proves people who use profanity tend to have a larger repertoire of words and a better command of vocabulary with which to express themselves.

Other published papers even go so far as to suggest that people who are in the habit of using taboo words may posses a higher I.Q.

In other words, inserting an appropriate cuss word into your conversation doesn’t make you fucking stupid. Quite the contrary, some of the most intelligent people in the world use profanity and use it well.

Despite the science, some claim (read preach) that having a propensity for dropping the F-Bomb like it’s hot is still considered crass or vulgar behavior.

Well, in case you haven’t figured it out. I fucking disagree.

Warning Profanity Dead Ahead

Properly used, “bad words” like shit, ass, bitch, damn, and my personal favorite, fuck, are super effective at clearly communicating how one may be feeling about a particular subject or event at any given moment.

Bonked your head on the doorjamb? FUCK!

Dropped a carton of eggs on your just-cleaned floor? FUCK!

Cut your finger with a blunt knife? FUCK!

Ruined your favorite black sweater by putting it in the dryer? FUCK!

Bounced your bumper off the side of the garage? FUCK!

Managed to accomplish all of the above in a single day? FUCK FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK!

Bam. One word. Expresses pain, anger, frustration, helplessness, despair. You name it. Fuck, or some form thereof, covers it.

Potty Mouth Pain Relief

So what the fuck does this have to do with chronic pain? Well, here’s the deal…

Other than being an outlet for our baser sides, science has also revealed that strategic cursing can act as a pain reliever.

Say what?

Yep! It’s true! Dropping the F-Bomb can make you feel better. Here’s how:

Instant pain relief – swearing can have a pain-relieving effect on our bodies by causing a surge of adrenaline, thereby speeding reaction times to pain situations.

Regular pain-relief – used as a coping mechanism, swearing can help reduce inner tension and stress, and we all know the effects of tension and stress on chronic pain!

Pain prevention – swearing is a non-violent, pain-preventing way to channel your anger without having to resort to a physical altercation. Instead of punching the wall, let fly a string of curses. You will feel better, and your knuckles will thank you.

Pain reduction – swearing can lead to increased blood circulation, elevated endorphins, and boosted serotonin levels. Feel a sense of calm and control after letting fly with the bad language? Yeah, me too.

A Time and A Place

There are other benefits to using profanity as well. These include:

Self-expression, creativity, and clarity of communication. As a writer, I’m always looking for unique ways to express mundane thoughts and actions. Also, studies show using profanity can increase the persuasiveness of an argument. Trying to make a point? Drop in a cuss word!

Social bonding. People swear. It’s as common these days as tattoos. And if done under the right circumstances (don’t swear in your job interviews, people), it can indicate you are open, fun, likeable, and even trustworthy.

Power and control. Swearing can give us a greater sense of control when we need a boost in less than ideal situations. Someone cut in front of you in the lunch line? Feel free to let them know their entitled behavior is unfuckingacceptable.

Or don’t.

To swear or not to swear? As far as I’m concerned, it’s a personal choice.

Me? I’m gonna go with a well placed F-Bomb every time. Not that I’m opposed to using the other bad words, except for the four letter C word, for some weird reason, I can’t bring myself to use it. I don’t object to other people using it. I don’t object to seeing it in print. I don’t object to the anatomy it refers to. I’m just not comfortable with it coming out of my potty mouth! And ain’t that the damnedest fucking thing?

So let’s hear it, sharing is caring tribe. Do you swear like a drunken sailor in a dark bar, or do you prefer to keep your language cuss-free?

Hope you’re all staying safe and practicing social distancing!

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Current pain level 4/10.

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Pill Swallowing Techniques for Pill Haters

4 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / March 28, 2020

I hate taking pills. Big ones. Little ones. Pink ones. Blue ones. Doesn’t matter. If it’s medicine, it doesn’t go down easy. You know the line – hard pill to swallow – well, it’s a metaphor for a reason.

I can just about swallow a cheeseburger whole, but put a tiny little pill in my pie eater, and my gag reflex engages like I took a swallow of expired (read chunky) milk straight from the carton.

GROSS.

There's a Name For It

Difficulty swallowing pills, or Dysphagia, can be caused by fear, pain, or other mental or physical conditions that can lead to dry mouth, gagging, choking, and sometimes even vomiting.

Personally, and in the absence of all logic, I’d rather suffer a five-day blackout migraine than take a Tylenol. Unfortunately, for the majority of chronic pain sufferers – myself included – pill swallowing avoidance is not an option.

For most people, the basics of pill swallowing are not rocket science. Put pill in mouth. Fill with liquid. Swallow. But when you’re like me, and you hate taking pills, this method often doesn’t work. Might have something to do with the Globus Sensation. A tightening of the throat not related to a physical condition brought on by stress, anxiety, or fear.

In other words, it’s all in my head.

Helpful Advice

So what can we do when a spoonful of sugar doesn’t help the medicine go down? Well, there are plenty of articles out there offering suggestions on how to take your medicine. Recommendations include:

Drinking lots of water – before, during, and after the pill swallowing attempt
Employing the use of relaxation techniques – deep breathing, throat humming
Visualizing success or changing the inner monologue – I can do this, as opposed to, I can’t do this
Building up tolerance – practice makes perfect, people – I have witnessed this as truth
Establishing routines – taking your medicines at the same time and in the same way, daily

Edith's Technique

All of the above may work for some people. Not for me. I have my own method…probably a genetic tic I inherited from my father who also hated swallowing pills, but who ultimately ended up eating them by the handful – kinda like me and smarties.

Anyhoo, the technique is simple really.

**Put liquid in mouth first – this is the critical first step
Squeeze pill between pressed lips avoiding liquid dribbling onto chin
Don’t let pill touch any other part of the mouth including teeth, tongue, and palate
Squeeze eyes as tight as possible
Grimace
Swallow
Repeat swallowing with as much additional liquid as necessary
Thank God when success ensured and pill hits the wide-open space of the stomach
Grimace again
Finally, go about your daily business proud of the fact that you wore your big girl pants to the pill-popping party and showed that little yellow bitch who’s boss

Seriously though, is there a little bit of resentment on my part about having to take medication at all? Hell, yeah. I hate taking pills. To manage my chronic pain, I’ll be taking them for the rest of my life. Truth – I forgot my pill last night and again this morning – could be a passive-aggressive forgetfulness – who knows?

Do I feel better when I remember to take my current prescription? Yes. Yes, I do.

How about you? Do you take your medicine like a kid in a candy store? Or are you more like me? A two-year-old who needs to be wrestled to the ground and forced to open her mouth, leaving the parent sweating in a crumpled heap of defeat five minutes later?

Hope you’re all staying safe, practicing social distancing, and taking your pills regularly and on time!

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Current pain level 4/10.

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