April 2020 - Edith Lalonde

Massage is NOT a Luxury, and I’m NOT High Maintenance

6 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / April 30, 2020

Hey Everybody,

Hope you’re all coping with the ongoing COVID-19 social distancing. As a person with multiple autoimmune diseases, I am grateful for the efforts Canadians have made to reduce the risks as much as possible for as many as possible. For those of you who have lost a friend, colleague, or loved one to the virus or the horrible act of violence in Nova Scotia, my heart goes out to you.

These are tough and challenging times.

As the fight against COVID-19 wages on, many of us find ourselves fighting battles of another nature. Whether they be mental or physical concerns, prolonged inaccessibility to healthcare services can have a significant impact on our overall wellness.

In my case, I’m in the midst of a full-body pain flare.

With knees and ankles that don’t bend, stairs are difficult to navigate
My hips are locking mid-stride, which is super odd-looking in the halls at work
Shoulder pain is keeping me awake at night, amplifying the fatigue already showing on my face
And my butt and back muscles ache constantly

What the Fuck is Happening

There are many reasons for the pain spike:

Working long hours on the computer in a seated position – work is COVID related, and can’t be helped
Poor diet – recently rectified but still contributing
Limited opportunity for physical activity – due to facility closures, but mostly due to long hours at work
Stress – at home, at work, self-induced…it’s everywhere
Inaccessible healthcare services – by healthcare services, I mean my doctor, my rheumatologist, my registered massage therapist.

YES, I said it. MASSAGE THERAPIST.

I have one, and she has saved my life, my sanity, and my mobility more than once! In fact, I call her my pain therapist. She’s a necessary partner in my mental and physical wellness journey, so I tend to get my nose out of joint when people give me the gears for getting a regular massage.

Really, I think I’ve heard it all… Oooo, must be nice to be so pampered. Wow, you’re so lucky. Oh, another spa day, good for you.

Not Fucking Cool

Nope. Nope. NOPE! Cut the stigma, people.

I am in pain. All-day. Every day. Full stop.

Massage helps to reduce my pain. Note, I said reduce. Not eliminate. My pain, whether brought on by Fibromyalgia or Ankylosing Spondylitis or both, will NEVER go away. My goal has been, and will always be, pain management.

In case you’re new here, I’ve been on my wellness journey for a long time. Twenty-five years – give or take a year – and during those pain-filled days, months, years, decades, I’ve used the services of chiropractors, physiotherapists, homeopaths, and nutritionists. The one I keep coming back to, like a compass needle to North, is my massage therapist.

Why is that? Well, it’s simple. Massage helps me to manage my chronic pain by:

Reducing muscle tension
Preventing joint immobility
Reducing stress
Improving blood circulation
Correcting posture damage from sitting
Stimulating the lymphatic system
Lowering blood pressure
Producing feelings of comfort, caring and connection

It's Science, Baby

But listen, don’t just take my word for it. There are plenty of studies that show massage is an effective treatment for any number of conditions. Thankfully, these days, massage is often recommended along with other “standard” medical treatments and drug therapies.

Chronic headaches? Get a massage. Digestive disorders? Get a massage. Tendonitis? Get a massage. Feeling blue? Get a massage. Bad hair day? Get a massage. Hell, you don’t need a reason, or an excuse, if you feel like you need a massage, or want a massage, don’t hesitate! Make an appointment. Go ahead. Do it.

But seriously, check with your doctor first, because sadly massage isn’t for everyone. Like any therapy, there are risks. Specifically, consult a medical professional if you have:

Deep vein thrombosis
Severe osteoporosis
Bleeding disorders
Injuries such as burns, wounds, or broken bones

Also, a word of caution, finding the right massage therapist for you is essential because some therapists can do more damage than good. I had my back go out for two weeks after a bad massage. Worst pain ever! Trust me. You want to avoid this.

My recommendations:

Ask a doctor or a friend for a referral
When you meet your service provider – don’t be afraid – ask questions. Discuss your concerns. Pinpoint your problem areas and articulate your needs/goals
Agree on a treatment plan and a price point in advance. Yes, if you don’t have insurance coverage, massage therapy services can be expensive, but remember, this is your health we’re talking about, and your health is worth the investment
Get as naked as you are comfortable with and no more. Want to leave your socks on? Leave em on. Want to strip off your undies. Strip em off. Point is – you need to be comfortable on and off the table
Be vocal. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up. Massage can leave you feeling sore for a day or two, but it shouldn’t increase your pain or put your back out of whack
Relax (or try to) and enjoy those parts of the massage that do feel a little pamperish. Yes, massage can be a powerful aid along your wellness journey, but it can also just be a feel-good moment when you need it

Bottom Line

Regular massage therapy is not a luxury or a splurge. It is an essential part of many people’s health and well-being, and an indispensable part of mine!

How about you? Any of your pain-relieving therapies getting a bad rap? Got any recommendations for me to try? Just want to drop a line to say hello and connect?

Go ahead and leave a comment!

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Current pain level 8/10.

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To Spring or Not to Spring?

4 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / April 26, 2020

Hello, My Lovelies!

Just a quick note to let you know I am working on the next blog. I know it’s been a hot minute since my last post, but truthfully, I’m more than a little tired and in the middle of a fairly major flare-up.

I blame the weather! Sunny and plus fifteen on one day. Minus fifteen and snowing the next. Can someone please inform Mother Nature her cycle is out of whack!

Sharing a picture I took yesterday afternoon. I’m calling it Resilience, cause I think we can all use a little extra dose of it these days.

Take care, everybody. Keep up the social distancing vigilance.

More to come!

If you feel up to it, drop a comment, and let us know how you’re doing.

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Edith

Current pain level 8/10.

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COVID Hair – Don’t Care!

4 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / April 14, 2020

Some people have suggested – to my face – that I’m a high maintenance kind of girl. First, I don’t give a shit what other people think. Second, It’s my money, and I worked damn hard to get it. So, if I am high maintenance…GOOD FOR ME.

However, I do think examining the accusation will make for an excellent series of blogs.

So, let’s dig in, shall we?

If the title didn’t give it away, this first post is all about the hairs on my head.

Ahem. Body hair is a whole other situation, so stay tuned!

Pre Summer of 2017

Like most women, I get my hair done. By done, I mean, highlighted, colored, cut. I used to go to the salon every six to eight months. This is NOT often enough to maintain an attractive or healthy head of hair, but at a cost of approximately 150 to 250 dollars per visit, maintaining my do was expensive.

So, yeah, even though I used good quality products to wash and style (every day), I didn’t follow the eight-week schedule recommended by my stylist. My bad! You would think delaying going to the salon would mean healthier hair, right? NOPE. Split ends. Brassiness. Dullness. Not to mention major roots!

But whatever, I was cheap (my husband even cheaper, leading to more than one hair-care-spending domestic). As a result, I wore my hair in a wet ponytail for most of my adult life. If my hair wasn’t in a ponytail, I was taking a straightening iron to my natural curls because we have hard water, and I didn’t know how to make my curly hair look good.

So, to summarize, at this point, I am:

Going to the salon every six to eight months for a full color, highlight, and trim
Washing my hair daily (with good (not great) products)
Slicking back wet hair and tightly securing with an elastic, or
Using hot tools on color-treated hair

Yep. No surprise, my hair was damaged, but it looked decent enough, and I had enough of it to cover my head.

Post Summer of 2017

The summer of 2017 was a rough time in my life. My stress sharply increased, my diet changed significantly, and my autoimmune diseases went on the attack. Over the next year, my hair fell out in clumps. CLUMPS. No…it didn’t break off because it was damaged. It fell out. At. The. Root.

I had bald spots on the back of my head and around my temples. BALD SPOTS! Even Roy noticed my hair was thinning, and that’s saying something.

By 2018 I was convinced I would lose what little hair I had left. Seriously, when gathered in an elastic, my ponytail was the diameter of a school pencil. By this point, the stress of stressing out about losing my hair was causing me to lose even more hair!

I went to my stylist; he’s been my go-to guy on and off for about fifteen years. I expressed my concerns, we didn’t find a solution, and I left the salon with the same cut and color as always.

Months passed. My head continued to shed. Seriously, I stuck handfuls of hair to the tiles to avoid plugging the drain when I showered. GROSS!

By summer 2018, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I – gasp– when to another stylist. She cut five inches off my hair. Had to be done, and while the shorter style was cute, I was still dealing with bald patches and ongoing hair loss.

In January of 2019, I figured this was my life now, and I began to look for ways to hide my thinning hair. Traditional hair extensions looked damaging to me, but Halo Couture hair extensions, while expensive, seemed like a reasonable option. I went to the only affiliated salon in Ottawa I could find, and the first words out of my mouth when I sat in the chair were, “My hair is thinning. Will Halo extensions help?”

Long story short the appointment didn’t go as planned. The stylist suggested she cut and color my hair first, and then we would talk extensions after. Hoping for a miracle, I stupidly agreed. Let’s just say, after 3 hours in an uncomfortable chair, the stylist never – not once – discussed Halo extensions with me, and I left the salon disappointed, angry, and with red hair.

RED HAIR.

It was not a good look for me. Don’t get me wrong. I love red hair. I envy women with beautiful red hair. Red hair on me…is not pretty!

Worse, my bald spots were even more noticeable, my hair was in the worst shape ever, and now my self-esteem was taking a hit.

The Turning Point

Hair, and lack thereof, had now become a primary mental preoccupation, and not in a good way. So, what did I do? I hit the Internet hard, did some research, and ultimately broke down and dropped some serious cash on Rogaine.

Say what?

Yep. Despite the expense, I started using Rogaine on my scalp to promote hair regrowth.

Did it work?

Yes. Yes, it did. After four months, I started to see some baby hairs sprouting. Here’s the deal, though. Rogaine or minoxidil is not a one and done product. You need to keep using it to continue seeing results. Basically, it’s a use it or lose it situation (the new hair that is).

Now here’s the kicker…women’s Rogaine is more expensive than the men’s Rogaine (same product descriptions), which is super annoying but waaay typical for the beauty industry.

Okay, rant over. Moving on…

First goal achieved, I now have hair growing where previously I was bald. Yippee!

Now I have to deal with the color. Trust me; red does not fade well, so, if you don’t plan on keeping (and maintaining) the red – DON’T do it!

Also, there’s no going back to blond without help.

A lot of help!

Before rushing in headfirst (hardy-har-har), I did further research. Watched more YouTube videos. What I learned was, there’s no safe way to go from red to blond in one salon visit, and any “expert” who tells you otherwise is wrong!

As you can imagine, by now, I’m a little salon weary, and salon wary. Still, there was no question – I needed professional help. Happily, I found it by accident. Late one night after a dinner date with Roy, we were full, happy, walking on the sidewalk hand-in-hand in the crisp fall air, and that’s when I noticed the beautiful new storefront downtown.

Turns out, it was a fancy new salon.

That night I Googled it. The owner/stylist trained in Italy, made a career out of working on models, and did not come cheap. The next day I called for an appointment. I was invited for a free consultation that very evening instead.

Given the hair-anxiety I was experiencing, I’m sure you can imagine my trepidation when I walked into Nick’s salon for the first time. Well, let me tell you, he said all the right things.

More importantly, he did all the right things.

It Ain't Over, 'Till it's Over

My first appointment was all about hair health. The red had to go (Nick’s words), but it would take several appointments to get me back to blond. So brown it was. First, he did a bonding treatment, then the all-over color, then a keratin treatment, and finally a cut. He gave me additional keratin treatments for home, with strict instructions to follow, including no more ponytails.

Yep. Traditional elastics were forever banned.

Not gonna lie, my Visa card damn near caught on fire when I paid the bill, but already I could tell it was worth it, and my anxiety lessened.

My second appointment was four weeks later. This appointment was all about color. I got a full head of blond highlights, another keratin treatment, a trim, and new shampoo and conditioner. Again, my Visa spontaneously combusted, but my hair was looking fuller and healthier.

Eight weeks later, I went for my third appointment. My hair was alive and doing well, and this visit was all about maintenance. A bit of root color, a few more blond highlights, toning, another keratin treatment, and yeah, my Visa already knows the drill. Burn, baby, burn.

During this period, I also changed my at-home routine:

Now, I wear my hair naturally curly, and I wash once or twice a week – tops.
I also invested in quality shampoos and conditioners for damaged or color- treated hair (Olaplex 1, 2 & 3, Biolage Raw, Verb).
I deep condition regularly (AG Keratin, Briogeo Don’t Despair Repair).
I use quality styling products (Olaplex #6, Aveda Be Curly, AG Mousse Gel, Verb Ghost oil).
I invested in a Dyson hairdryer/diffuser combo.
I bought a satin pillowcase.
I (sometimes) wear a bonnet to sleep in.
I (try to remember to) keep up with the Rogaine.

Yeah, I spent a lot of money on hair products and professionals in 2019—a LOT of money. But guess what, I don’t regret a single dime. My hair has grown back. It’s healthier, shinier, curlier, longer, and fuller. Bye, bye bald spots.

The Bonus

I’m not stressed out about losing my hair anymore.

Will I continue with the expensive salon visits, the Rogaine, the products.

100% yes!

In fact, like many women impacted by the closing of non-essential services, I’m overdue for a salon visit. My roots are showing, and my gray hairs are taking over! Yep, I have COVID hair, but I don’t care!

Why?

It’s simple, really.

Because I have hair.

How about you? Have you experienced hair trauma or hair loss attributed to an autoimmune disease? Any tips for haircare during the COVID-19 quarantine?

My advice is…this too shall pass…don’t give yourself bangs out of boredom, ladies!

Special note: plastic coil or spiral ponytail holders are Nick approved – you can get ’em at the Dollar Store.

Also check out Manes by Mell, if you have curly hair. She saved my curls life, and she’s fucking hilarious.

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers!

Current pain level 7/10.

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Dropping the F-Bomb Like It’s Hot

4 Comments / Living With Chronic Pain / Edith / April 4, 2020

I’m sure you’ve all heard about the studies done. You know, the scientific research that proves people who use profanity tend to have a larger repertoire of words and a better command of vocabulary with which to express themselves.

Other published papers even go so far as to suggest that people who are in the habit of using taboo words may posses a higher I.Q.

In other words, inserting an appropriate cuss word into your conversation doesn’t make you fucking stupid. Quite the contrary, some of the most intelligent people in the world use profanity and use it well.

Despite the science, some claim (read preach) that having a propensity for dropping the F-Bomb like it’s hot is still considered crass or vulgar behavior.

Well, in case you haven’t figured it out. I fucking disagree.

Warning Profanity Dead Ahead

Properly used, “bad words” like shit, ass, bitch, damn, and my personal favorite, fuck, are super effective at clearly communicating how one may be feeling about a particular subject or event at any given moment.

Bonked your head on the doorjamb? FUCK!

Dropped a carton of eggs on your just-cleaned floor? FUCK!

Cut your finger with a blunt knife? FUCK!

Ruined your favorite black sweater by putting it in the dryer? FUCK!

Bounced your bumper off the side of the garage? FUCK!

Managed to accomplish all of the above in a single day? FUCK FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK!

Bam. One word. Expresses pain, anger, frustration, helplessness, despair. You name it. Fuck, or some form thereof, covers it.

Potty Mouth Pain Relief

So what the fuck does this have to do with chronic pain? Well, here’s the deal…

Other than being an outlet for our baser sides, science has also revealed that strategic cursing can act as a pain reliever.

Say what?

Yep! It’s true! Dropping the F-Bomb can make you feel better. Here’s how:

Instant pain relief – swearing can have a pain-relieving effect on our bodies by causing a surge of adrenaline, thereby speeding reaction times to pain situations.

Regular pain-relief – used as a coping mechanism, swearing can help reduce inner tension and stress, and we all know the effects of tension and stress on chronic pain!

Pain prevention – swearing is a non-violent, pain-preventing way to channel your anger without having to resort to a physical altercation. Instead of punching the wall, let fly a string of curses. You will feel better, and your knuckles will thank you.

Pain reduction – swearing can lead to increased blood circulation, elevated endorphins, and boosted serotonin levels. Feel a sense of calm and control after letting fly with the bad language? Yeah, me too.

A Time and A Place

There are other benefits to using profanity as well. These include:

Self-expression, creativity, and clarity of communication. As a writer, I’m always looking for unique ways to express mundane thoughts and actions. Also, studies show using profanity can increase the persuasiveness of an argument. Trying to make a point? Drop in a cuss word!

Social bonding. People swear. It’s as common these days as tattoos. And if done under the right circumstances (don’t swear in your job interviews, people), it can indicate you are open, fun, likeable, and even trustworthy.

Power and control. Swearing can give us a greater sense of control when we need a boost in less than ideal situations. Someone cut in front of you in the lunch line? Feel free to let them know their entitled behavior is unfuckingacceptable.

Or don’t.

To swear or not to swear? As far as I’m concerned, it’s a personal choice.

Me? I’m gonna go with a well placed F-Bomb every time. Not that I’m opposed to using the other bad words, except for the four letter C word, for some weird reason, I can’t bring myself to use it. I don’t object to other people using it. I don’t object to seeing it in print. I don’t object to the anatomy it refers to. I’m just not comfortable with it coming out of my potty mouth! And ain’t that the damnedest fucking thing?

So let’s hear it, sharing is caring tribe. Do you swear like a drunken sailor in a dark bar, or do you prefer to keep your language cuss-free?

Hope you’re all staying safe and practicing social distancing!

Until the next blog – peace out pain sufferers.

Current pain level 4/10.

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